Friday, April 10, 2009

I’m a little weird but…

Last night, while laying in bed trying to sleep I started thinking of this story I had heard once where a girl told her boyfriend she wanted him to kidnap her and rape her for her boyfriend. He was caught and got arrested before the girl could tell the cops everything was alright (she was bound and gagged in the back of van they used). It got me thinking about the Law and Order: SVU episodes I’ve seen and how horrible rape is. But I also started thinking about my own feelings about rape. I remember at one time, when I was in my early teens and messed up as hell, that I wanted some stranger to rape me because then somehow I’d be attractive to at least one person out there. I realize now how completely irrational and stupid that notion is. I know now that rape is nothing more than a control issue and is rarely about the sex. Sometimes I’m grateful that I’m not perfect looking so that I never become the target of rape but I do want to be attractive. Anyways, based off my earlier teenage feelings I started concocting a poem of a woman’s experience of a rape that she actually wanted to happen. Maybe I should do one about a woman who doesn’t want to be raped who does. I wanted to get my thoughts down before I forgot them in the hecticness of my life. Hopeful I’ll get around to writing them sometime this year. ;D